Looking to the Past, Hopeful for the Future

Exams have come and gone. Friends have graduated, and I am home for the next few weeks. Life is good. I’ve started back to work at Redix, and am relaxing and reading with no worries of papers or tests or the ever dreaded Dr. Martin class discussions. So now, I wanted to take some time to reflect on the past semester.

I think I’ve said this before, but I cannot believe how quickly this semester flew by! It feels like just last week I was writing my thesis for my senior paper. Now, I have a grade on it (an A thank you very much!) and it is completely and totally over with. I swear it was just last week Brooke and I were walking over to Eakes to catch our favorite team win yet another game, and honor those who have played before them. While it feels like just last weekend JMart and his law school friends came down for the Campbell v. App game and then played Just Dance, I’m pretty sure it was well over a month and a half ago. Over this semester I have become more and more thankful for my roommates every day. We are all 3 so different, yet so similar in so many ways. Looking at where we were a year ago last year, it’s hard to believe we could get any closer as friends. We’ve all had a busy semester. Brooke was in practicum, Kendele took a full course load (again), and me trying to finish senior seminar. Yet we still managed to find time to hangout and be in college. I can honestly say I would be lost without my roommates. I am so blessed to call them not only roommates, but best friends. They know every aspect of my life, and deal with me in every mood. Not many people will do that, and they do, whether willingly or unwillingly. I have also come to enjoy afternoon coffee conversations much much more this semester. Every week, my friend Jessica and I set aside Friday (usually) afternoons to have coffee, relax, and converse. Both of us going through the process of applying to Divinity school has given us that common “what am I thinking?!” thought process, and having a sounding board who understands EXACTLY what I’m thinking and feeling has made everything so much easier. Every time I start a sentence with “Okay, so don’t judge me…” she stops me and says “hey, you know me, no judgement.” and I know she’s serious. Nothing I can tell her will make her think less of me, and I am grateful for that kind of friendship.

As if God hasn’t provided and looked after me enough, he has placed these people in my life to make my last year of undergrad so much easier and so memorable. It is so hard to believe that I will finish college in a matter of 5 months and begin grad school (hopefully) or a big kid job. My life almost feels surreal at times, like if I’m not careful, I will wake up at any given moment and be back in high school, completely miserable with the people I go to school with. If I look back, I am completely in awe of how God has provided and blessed me with those I go to school with, interact with, and consider friends. I couldn’t dream of a better life than the one that has been created at Campbell over the past 2 and a half years.

As Christmas approaches (more rapidly than I would like) I cannot help but think about the year to come. I am anxious, and apprehensive as I being the process of preparing to graduate and get ready for the next phase of my life. In 5 months, I will be moving out of the apartment I have called home for the past 2 years. When I think about it, I almost cry because living there has been the greatest source of friendship, encouragement, and honesty I have ever experienced. I literally cannot fathom my life any other way than it is during the school year. While I know I needn’t worry because clearly God is in control, it is hard not to because I know what I want. I don’t have a back up plan if I don’t get into Divinity school, nor do I have a plan for how to pay for it yet if I do get in. God always provides for those He has called, but sometimes it is so hard to remember that.

My goal for next semester is to really, really dig into the word, even more than I have this past semester. I know whether I go to Divinity School or get a big kid job, I need to know where He is leading me in this next phase of my life. Graduating, moving out, and moving on will be one of the hardest experiences in my life, because I have grown to love Campbell and my life there more deeply than almost anything I have ever loved in my entire life. For every bit of excitement I feel, I am equally as anxious. However, I know God is in control and that, again, makes all the difference.



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