I would like to point out that it took me almost 20mins to figure out how to change that stupid little picture thing. I am the worst with technology. This is why I don’t have an iphone and my ipod is almost 8 years old. My mother knows more about technology than me. Anyways, not the point of this.
The point of this is not to tell you about my love for NeedToBreathe but that’s about to happen. They’re amazing. If you don’t listen to them, for shame. They’re like a Christian version of Mumford (who I still would like to think at least believe in Jesus). I mean, who wouldn’t like them? The brothers are named after the Alabama football coach. They’re great, and they’re coming to NC which means I’m going to have to find a way to see them. Except for the fact that I just realized my night class is the same night they’re in Raleigh. They’re in Charlotte that Saturday night though, the 13th…. I need to figure this out.
The point is also not to tell you that I graduate in exactly 3 months from tomorrow. 3 months that’s like 12 weeks or so. Think about that for a second. In just 3 months, I will be a college graduate. I might vomit thinking about it. Actually… that might be part of the point, maybe… Anyways, more of the actual point of this
I had a church contact me Friday about sending them additional information for a resume, which is a little terrifying. It’s not a matter of thinking I could or couldn’t do the job, it’s more of the realization that I could potentially have a job in a church. The position is for youth/college minister. Granted, they’re not handing me the job or anything, they just asked for additional information… So it could amount to absolutely nothing, but the concept still remains that this could be an option. I guess my biggest question is the same as it always is. How do you know if it’s right or not? Granted, the past decisions I’ve made I’ve gone off what felt right, and so far that has worked. Prayer, and listening to those who I trust and are strong in their faith, and then whatever felt right – that has gotten me this far. But will that continue to work? I’ve never had a backup plan or anything for life. I’ve never needed one. When I applied to Campbell, this was the only option. I never considered that it wouldn’t work because I felt that this is where God was calling me. It worked for this, but can I assume that it is going to work for a job and divinity school? What if none of this works out? What if I don’t have a job after graduation and I don’t get into divinity school, then what?
I’m not entirely sure that was the point of this either. I’m not entirely sure this had a point come to think of it. I think often times I psych myself out. I doubt my own abilities which leads me to doubt Christ. For so long I have claimed to be this independent, strong willed, and determined individual who didn’t need anyone. I could do absolutely everything by myself, but the more I look at my life, the more I realize how great my need for Christ is. Charles Spurgeon said “I have a great need for Christ: I have a great Christ for my need.” Is it just me, or is that not fantastic? I mean, I worry all the time. I mean alllllllllllllll the time. It’s frustrating if we’re being completely honest. I feel like I should be the one in control of my life, but in reality I’m not in control. I mean I am, but not really. I could choose to not follow the plan God has for my life, but… while it is technically an option, it’s not really. If I know God’s plan, then why wouldn’t I listen to it? It’s always better than my plan. I guess if this job and divinity school are part of His ultimate plan, then it will happen. If not, then something better than this will come along. Granted, right now it is impossible for me to fathom that, but I know it’s true. I have stood totally dumbfound in the wake of what Christ has done in my life before, I don’t know why I pull against Him and try to make things happen on my own.
Maybe that was the point of this, to talk myself in a circle (again) to come back to the point I always come back to. The point is… I am not in control. I was made in the image of a mighty creator who has a plan and a purpose for my life, that while I may not see it, is far greater than anything I could come up with. Situations and life get thrown at me, and instead of trying to deal with it on my own, I should first hand them over to God and let him lead me where He wants me. That might be a better alternative then stressing myself out and pretending like I can deal with it on my own.
If this had a point at all, I think that was it. Or it seems like a good point to come to.