I hate when I can’t put my feelings into words. As someone who loves words, this is one of the most frustrating things in the world. To have feelings and emotions and not be able to express them is so difficult and I feel like I’m bottling everything up, when in reality I’m trying to let it out. Last night was my last night at Baptist Student Union as an undergraduate and as a member of council. Since it was the last night, our campus minister recognized the senior (me) and installed our new council. For me, this was such an emotional night and I thought I had prepared myself for it, however I was more humbled by that experience than anything else I have done in my life.
If you have never been part of a prayer service with the laying of hands, I encourage you to experience it from both the aspect of the praying for someone and being the one being prayed for. This was the first time I had not been praying for someone, but I was the one being prayed for. I have never been more humbled by an experience in my life. To hear people ask God for His provisions in my life, to protect me, to guide me in my future, to be with me as I start the next phase of my life. There were freshman who I’ve only known a few months that I have impacted. None of this is to “toot my own horn” or anything to that effect, but for me to see that actions are important. It was humbling to be prayed for, to be the one lifted up instead of being the one lifting up someone else. It was encouraging to hear friends both new and old ask God for His protection and His guidance as I start Divinity School. To hear friends I have only known a month or so say that I had impacted their lives, and that I had been a rock for dear friends in times when they needed someone. Things I had never realized I was doing that other people were noticing. It also makes me stop and think how often someone saw my actions and thought “I thought she was a Christian, I guess not.” That thought makes me incredibly sad.
I am overwhelmed with the amount of love I was given last night. It validates why I love BSU and why I believe in who they are and what they represent. BSU is one of the “bigger” campus ministry names on campus but it is small in terms of numbers, and I love that about BSU. It’s one of the things that draws kids to it. There’s close, intimate worship. There’s people who genuinely care about each and every person who is there. I stuck with BSU because they engaged me; they noticed when I wasn’t there. The speakers spoke, but they also encouraged and challenged and lifted up, and convicted when they didn’t even know what they were doing. Through BSU I learned what true worship looked like. I learned that it was okay to lift your hands if that’s what God leads you to do during worship. If he brings you to tears, to sit down, to lift your hands, to anything. It’s okay. Because it’s worship, and it’s beautiful. That’s beautiful. That’s campus ministry. That’s what all ministries should be. Engaging those who are there and helping them meet Jesus and worship Him. To bring people together to worship together and grow closer both to one another and to God. BSU has it right, I wish more churches, and ministries would.
Without BSU I would not be who I am or where I am today. I can say in full confidence that I would not be about to graduate from Campbell and starting Divinity School in the fall. God has used campus ministries in my life more than anyone could ever possibly realize. From bringing me my friends to showing me His plan for my life. There are no words to express my gratitude to Christ for everything.